so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize