all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
