Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
