ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize