I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
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