TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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