Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
