dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
