People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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