Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
