Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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