Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
