If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We got so high we made milksteak
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
