I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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