you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
