Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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