i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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