Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
