I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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