I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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