Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
