That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
