i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dignity is for republicans.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
third nipple confirmed
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
