how can u be prego again
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
