love makes seman taste better
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
