omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
