Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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