at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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