okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
