I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
