Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
