I just made out with a guy for $7.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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