At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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