Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize