I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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