direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
