That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize