Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
