you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Randomize
