Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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