i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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