If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
