So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
