he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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