The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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