awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
