And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
