did you get engaged???
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
