What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
