We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
