So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
lets start a swedish sibling band together
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
