Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
