Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize