you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize