oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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