I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
