I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
