Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
