you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
