we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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