Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize