Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
