Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
