using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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