I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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